Sooo ...

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

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-. I haven't updated in almost a month. Here are a bunch of photographs from the last month. I know they're completely random. Some are from photoshoots. Some are just random ones I shot. A couple are from my 'vacation'. The other is the 2nd biggest news of my life...

-. So the cats officially out of the bag. Well everybody knows except my parents and Dominic. I am putting it off... I'm pregnant. Almost 11 weeks now. It's been a rough road emotionally, I had whats called a subchorionic hematoma, I've had spotting off and on, I been eating and throwing up constantly the past couple of weeks. Pregnancy is a young woman game... LOL. Although, I was equally sick and miserable with Dominic too. 

Eric and I have already picked out the baby's name if it's a boy or girl- except I made the executive decision of keeping it a secret until it's born, because when I was pregnant with Dominic EVERYBODY had an opinion on names, and it pissed me off.

The pregnancy wasn't planned nor was it prevented, it just is. I'm not nearly as excited as everyone else is, because to me it's starting all over again (plus OMG the exhaustion), and the fact I will be drastically changing my sons life and routine (I think I feel most guilty about that).

-. So we sorta went to Chicago. As in we were in a bunch of suburbs surround Chicago. I barely took any photos, and it wasn't because I didn't want to. It was mostly family wasn't in the mood for it, and we didn't do anything or go anywhere. I was honestly pretty bummed - I would've like to do a few things and go into the city at least once, but I also felt like garbage for most of it, so laying low was probably a good thing. We went on my cousins boat a couple times, and on our way back home was able to talk my dad into taking Dominic to the Lego Land Discovery Center.

-. I've been doing a bunch of photo shoots lately. I haven't really been up for it, but cash remains king.

-. Eric lost his job on Monday. He's been down, I've been a little panicked. I been mad about everything. Thank you hormones.

-. I hired an attorney to file bankruptcy. I'm relieved to start over on a clean state. I pray I get so much better financially and learn to invest, and be smarter fiscally.


Tough

Sunday, July 15, 2018

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- I've been trying to write a blog post for weeks now. To say I have a ton going on is an understatement. I have a good reason, but for now I'm going to table that topic. Most of the pictures I've taken lately are of Dominic or clients. I'm trying to be better about taking photos of "stuff" or nature. Just to break up the monotony a little.

- The last couple weeks have been hard on me emotionally for every-single-reason under the sun. Can't I ever just enjoy something? <--- Feeling a little sorry for myself there. Physically I'm exhausted. Dominic and I are mostly spending are days hanging around the house and going swimming in the evenings.

- I go to Chicago in a couple of weeks, except not really. More like a suburb or Chicago which will look exactly like where I already live. Who travels 9 hours and doesn't get to see the city? I am VERY bummed out about this- it is after all my favorite city, but it just didn't work in my favor. Although, I did promise Dominic I would hope him and I on a train and go one of these years. I think he'd probably like it more when he's older anyway. (seeing family is coo too... LOL)

- I have quite a bit of shoots coming up. I can honestly say that my drive for it has dwindle completely. I am TIRED y'all. It's easy money though - and God knows I could use that.

- I feel very super whiney in this post let me list off some good things ...

- Salads are AMAZING to me right now. I eat one dang near every single day.

- Dominic has been loving all the pool dates and bonding and all the time spent with our other mommy friends.

- My relationship with Eric has been suffering a lot, but after dramatically chasing down my car and telling me we should talk, we want to work things out. Plus we NEED to.

- This Organic grocery store by my mothers house is seriously the best. I've decided to get all my meat and produce there from here on out. I'll buy my shelf crap from Walmart still.

- I'm one again sucked into Power and have been into Marvels Cloak and Dagger series on Hulu.

How are you?

Wellness (sorta)

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

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Random photos from the past month.

So I am going to base this post off of the 7 Dimensions of Wellness. My brain is too fried to come up with random happenings from the last couple of weeks.

Social: Ah relationships. My romantic relationship is good one minute, garbage the next- but damnit if we don't leave each other alone. The fights aren't bad enough to make anyone leave, but I can't help but wonder if there's someone else out there better suited for me (and him).

Dominic (son) is good. He's been bored to tears this summer. On electronics WAY too much, and I vow to never make him sit around bored with me again until he's 11 or 12. I mostly did it to save some money this summer, but he really ought to be running around and what not.

Family. Parents are good. I never really realized how not user friend point and shoot and cheaper DSLRs were until I had to help with the coloring issues my mom was having with her Nikon (not to mention I'm not used to Nikon). After a million screens I figured out she had some creative settings on.. and she's not sure how any of it happened- lol. My dad is steady doing his thing like always.

Friends. I haven't seen much of them recently.

Emotional: I'm okay. Still dealing with anxiety. I've been trying out this new antidepressant to get a handle on it called Effexor. It makes me extremely tired so I made them cut the dose in half. I have to function at least a little bit.

Spiritual: I tried a new church last Sunday. I felt like I was going to spill over in tears every 5 seconds. Dominic absolutely loved it. Their kids area is incredible. When I came in they were doing a big raffle drawing and Dominic had won a gold ticket and got a bunch of crap- toys he didn't need- LOL. Anyway, kids room aside, message was nice, the music was good, and it was easily the most diverse church I've ever been too. I'm talking white folks, black folks, Asian folks, Hispanic folks, and even a few Middle Eastern-ers. I may try it out again this week.

Environmental: My house is a perpetual pig-sty (mostly toys) and it's driving me crazy. After making a big-to-do about having wood floors- I now want to reinstall carpet (the initial carpet was disgusting, so it would've got pulled either way). I also need to rip out my tub and tile up the walls.

Occupational: Work is good. I've worked from home, 4 days a week, for about 6 months now. My stress related to my job has gone down, and I RARELY get sick anymore. I used to be the queen of getting cold and every other germ on the planet. Now it's few and far between, and if I do get one I tend to get over it much quicker. I should anonymously call the EPA and have them test the air quality at my actual work office. At the end of July we are transferring to CHI Regional instead of CHIPS (sub division). Which means I'll get more vacation time and and cheaper health insurance.

Intellectual: I'll stick my photography stuff in this category since it's not really my occupation. To be honest I'm completely over it. I'm over family photos, newborns, and couple photos. The only thing I enjoy taking photos of are creatives and local business owners. Usually because I can be more creative with them. I'm still doing the former, because $50 is $50.

Although, I have cut out events for the most part and if people want me to do photos completely out of my way - I just decline now. I don't charge enough to drive 30+ minutes.

Physical: I eat like shit and never exercise. I feel great *insert sarcasm* - I'm looking into joining the YMCA come autumn (I'd rather pay a membership in full than month to month). In the mean time I've sworn I'm going to walk 30 minutes everyday and cut back on my sugar/going out to eat consumption. 

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